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Also, thank you for taking the time to read this during work. Also if you’d like to take this opportunity to tell your female single co-workers about this blog, and ask them if they want to date me, I wouldn’t be mad. Fuck Eharmony.com, which I couldn’t believe was still available. Now the tricky thing about eharmony is, it takes two to tango.
If that’s the case, please scroll down like 2 inches (that’s what she said) and get those words off your screen. Other titles include: “Dear Eharmony, because of you I’m going to have to reproduce through mitosis” “Dear Eharmony, I just bought the domain name Fuck Eharmony.com, no seriously, I did”| “Dear Eharmony, you took my money, dignity, and self respect, and all I got was this lousy blog” It’s true, I actually did buy the domain name So the purpose, the essence, of this blog, is that my eharmony subscription is ending this month. This is my second stint on eharmony.com, this last stint I signed up for 6 months. At first it’s awesome you have matches sent to you, which you review and if you like you can proceed to step 1, which is you send them multiple choice questions.
Two dates where I was probably settling, compromising and giving in, just to go on dates. Not at all, they were perfectly normal, fine people, just not the match for me. It’s literally a 40 minute survey asking you the same question 37 different ways.
First thing you have to do is fill out the SATs of online dating.
What the fuck are they doing with all the money I give them each month!?
I expect ads on a free site, but not one where I’m paying!? Apparently, it’s a good thing my subscription is ending. I know legally they CAN cancel my account at any time for any reason, but SHOULD they cancel my account just because I blogged about my experience in a negative way.
So before you know it, you’re waiting on 5 girls to respond back, and then it’s 10, then 20, then 50! As of tonight I was in stage 1, waiting for 748 matches to respond back to me from stage 1. You’re probably thinking Steven, you should be more selective anyways, you can’t just be communicating with every person you get matched with. So all together I have been matched with 1905 and different females. Or whats more likely is you sent me every girl in San Diego in 7 girl increments.
I know right, how ridiculous is it to be “communicating” with 50 different girls all at the same time, all waiting for them to respond. What’s most upsetting about this shenanigans is that I am waiting for 748 girls to get back to me, with stage 1 questions.
The multiple choice questions have to be picked from a provided list and the answers are already provided. Apparently girls need months and months before then can decide that they want to respond back to me with these tough hitting question?
There’s always a chance that she decides 5 months later, yep, todays the day I answer that guys multiple choice questions.
And me being a man of statistics and math, knows that even though it’s only a half percent chance she will actually respond, that’s half a percent chance for every single one of the 748 girls.